Each week the Quarter Queue crew takes a fond look at different videogame franchises and destroy them with extreme, loving prejudice. They shaped, molded, and entertained us -- who better to roast the @#$% out of them?!
Battletoads Double Dragon
We're going hard on over-the-top team-ups like we're two days from retirement, in the wrong place at the right time, and we're not even supposed to be here today! Double Dragon 3 expands the crew to search for the three Rosetta Stones. Now the Lee brothers are joined by the mixed martial artist Urquidez brothers, the tai chi expert Chin brothers, the karate master Ōyama brothers, and the Lee's own bootleg palette-swap step-child, Sonny. Battletoads Arcade distinguishes itself from the other games with voice-overs, updated design and combos, and EXTREME liberties taken ramping up the violence and gore. Battletoads/Double Dragon. When Earth's military is neutralized and a giant spaceship called Colossus emerges from the moon, it falls to three anthropomorphic toads from space and two brothers from New York who know karate. It's one of the greatest things ever
Legend of Zelda games pt.1
We grab our wooden swords and go to town (and no, that's not a euphemism), we're talking Zelda! The Legend of Zelda is the 1986 classic that started it all. Set in the fantasy land of Hyrule, the uppity pig-man Ganon decides to cause a ruckus. That's when our elf-like boy hero Link step up the check him. Y'know, after a looooooooong journey filled with breaking and entering, vandalism, animal cruelty, and some light arson. The second installment, "The Adventure of Link" brought our hero on a quest to save Princess Zelda, who fell under a sleeping spell. The game had bigger sprites, evolved combat, and maintained it's rep for being hard as balls. A game causing more fist-fights for badmouthing than a round of mama-jokes, A Link to the Past remains one of the most popular titles in the series. It returns to a top-down perspective and focuses on Link as he journeys to save Hyrule, stomp out lord Ganon, and rescue the descendants of the Seven Sages. Link's Awakening is a 1993 action-adventure game, and the fourth installment in the Legend of Zelda series (the first for a handheld system.) It doesn't take place in Hyrule, doesn't feature Princess Zelda, and the Triforce relic is nowhere to be seen. Link just out here faffing about all willy-nilly!
Die Hard Trilogy
In celebration of the holidays, we dig in on games from the greatest film trilogy ever to disavow it's crappy subsequent installments (y'know... that never happened). We're talking Die Hard: Die Hard on the NES, where the player rescues hostages and battles 40 terrorists scattered throughout Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles. He's got nothing but his wits and his fists. ...Also some submachine guns, explosives, rocket launchers, flamethrowers and flashbangs aid in the never-ending struggle to protect John McClane's feet. Someone MAY have missed the point of the film this was based on. Die Hard Arcade, known in Japan as Dynamite Deka, is a beat 'em up from Sega mapped to the Die Hard license. The president's daughter has been kidnapped. John McClane and his sidekick Kris Thompsen fight through waves of terrorists with over-the-top, largely gore-free violence to get her back. "Die Hard Trilogy" features three games in one, each based on a movie installment from the Die Hard franchise (only 3 at the time) and featuring a different genre and gameplay style for each. This game is action-packed with reasons the ESRB was created
Crazy Games pt.1
We go in on some of the craziest games released in arcades. On the list: Boogie Wings, known in Japan as "The Great Ragtime Show," is one of Data East's most obscure and most insane titles NARC, the 1988 run-n-gun. One of the first ultra-violent video games and a frequent target of parental criticism of the video game industry. Sexy Parodius, a 1996 horizontal-scrolling arcade shooter rife with hyper-sexual designs risqué innuendo (well... risqué for the 90s, anyway.)